Published: 2020-11-29
She is voguing, snake owning
French-speaking, ass-kicking
Backflipping
She is awesome
She is confident in who she is
Not just what she does
I believe there is who you are, then there is what you do
We often confuse the two
What do you do
When the idea of who you are and what you do
Isn’t enough to get you out of bed anymore
I can’t let this superficial success fill my soul or my
head anymore
It’s been 3 weeks since I have done anything for anybody
Including myself
I haven’t written a single poem
All my auditions feel like games
Every single proposition
I just blame, blame, blame
Maybe it’s my outfit today
Maybe this pimple on my face
I’m just not feeling okay
I didn't want to do it anyways
Am I selfishly chasing a life with no guarantee or
mandate
That’s the artist’s life
It’s not till the end that you’ll understand it
Now I got all these people looking at me
Telling me they believe in my dreams
But in the end I know it’s only conditionally
Only when it's making them money
Us artists are seen like commodities
Stocks rise every time we present flawlessly
But no amount of currency
Could make this artist perform like she’s the greatest
If she just wasn’t feeling the greatest
So I take my time
Because money comes and it goes
With the same people who came for it
I write these rhymes
Because if this gift of mine can’t make me a dime today
Then what is it good for anyways?
Sometimes it feels like absolutely nothing
So I consume validation until I get real high
Problem with that feeling is
It comes so fast
And leaves just as quick
We are a social media generation fiending for a fix
When the world outside our phones just isn't doing it
When the world outside my phone just isn’t doing it
I sit with myself quietly
Until I feel like doing what it is that I do
I recite mantras aloud and dream of the future of you
I say if I can be anything I will go everywhere
If I can be anything I will go everywhere!
I say this until I feel my spirit levitate
I say this while dreaming of the future of me
Until I can see her clearly
I would imagine she is vogueing
Snake owning
French-speaking
Ass-kicking, backflipping
She is awesome
She has grounded her sense of self
In so much more than material wealth
She is
Confident in who she is, not just what she does